I've been meaning to write about this for a while. And since Baby
Awesome is down for his nap, I thought now would be a good time to talk
about it.
When I was pregnant with Baby Awesome, I had
envisioned how I wanted the birth to go. My husband and I took the
"Preparing for Childbirth" class at the hospital. And after the weekend
was over, I told my husband, I think I'll try to go all natural. (ie no
medication). He thought that sounded awesome! Of course he did! He
wasn't the one bearing the pain. LOL.
My due date was
December 21, but for some reason, I figured this baby would come on
Christmas. Christmas Eve morning, I woke up and started having
contractions and bleeding. I panicked, told my husband we needed to head
to the hospital, so off we went. Now, I just want to preface by saying I
was having braxton hick contractions since week 28. And these
contractions were definitely different. So off to the hospital we went.
We get there and the nurse says, nope, go back home. I'm only dilated
1cm, contractions by this point were coming and going, so we head back
home.
This Christmas Eve, we had decided to not make
any plans with family. The previous weekend, we had celebrated with my
side of the family. And we had no plans (typical - the in-laws like to
wing it) with my husband's family. So we spend the day at home, thinking
we'd watch the Cowboys, maybe attend the Christmas Eve service at
church, depending on how I was feeling. Well, that evening I spent on
the couch, watching the Boys play. My husband was busy wrapping gifts
and whatnot. I remember talking with my mom on the phone at one point
and would have to pause every so often as I could feel a contraction. My
parents live roughly 4 hours away. And they were planning on coming
down once I got admitted to the hospital. Well, after our phone
conversation, Mom knew that they needed to come on down and check into
their hotel.
Around 8:30, I was monitoring the
contractions and they seemed to be 3-5 minutes apart for a good solid
hour. Awesome. I tell my husband, ok, for real this time! We head down
to the hospital (thankfully only 15 minutes away) and I get brought in
to the triage room. Another nurse hooks me up to the monitors and
proceeds to check me. I'm a 2cm! Woohoo! But they won't admit me until
I'm at least a 4 or 5cm being a first time Mom. WHAT?! By this point, my
pain was picking up. Based on my phone's calculations, the contractions
were every 3-5 minutes apart. Well, according to the monitor, the nurse
said that they weren't steady enough. So she calls me doctor who says
to go walk around for a while and come back to be checked. So, off my
husband and I walk. An hour later we head back into the room to be
checked. Still 2cm and my contractions still weren't consistent enough
for them to admit.
What to do? The nurse says I'm a
first time mom and I can be in pre-labor for days. They can prescribe me
Ambien to help me sleep. It'll lessen the pain some, but to just go
home and sleep.
I take Ambien at roughly 10:45pm and
get home around 11pm and my husband gets me in bed. I really can't
sleep. I probably dozed. I woke up and took Tylenol wondering when the
pain would lessen. I mean, really? Apparently I was IN LABOR but not
enough to be admitted to the hospital. (Who makes these rules, I mean,
seriously?!) My husband comes into the room at one point to see if I
wanted a bath to help with the pain. I remember tracking my contractions
at this point. 1-2 minutes apart, lasting 60-90 seconds. Oh yes. I
finally tell my husband, I guess take me back. Maybe I'll be dilated
enough to be admitted. I seriously was concerned that they would send me
home for the 3rd time! I thought I was going to have this baby on the floor in our bathroom.
So
off we head. It's 3am! The pain was so unbearable. I thought I was
going to die. I thought to myself, if I'm not in actual labor, I'm
screwed because this is awful!
I barely make it into
the hospital. I tell my husband to go ahead and get someone. I make it
to a seat before someone is sent with a wheelchair. They wheel me back
to triage to "check" me before hooking me up to a monitor. Surely they
can tell by my wet hair and wet clothes that either A. my water broke or
B. I'm in active labor and this baby is coming literally any minute.
The
nurse (same one previously) checks me and no lie says, "You're about to
have a baby!" I still think to myself, "No crap, lady!"
At
that moment, things were moving so fast! I just remember them pulling
me out of the little triage room and hauling me to a labor and delivery
room. Once I arrived in my own little room, I was greeted by about 5
nurses. The lights were on. This was showtime! I don't remember much.
They hooked me up to an IV. I remember my husband asking several
questions, "Can I put my contacts in, Do I have time to get our things
out of the car like our camera, I need to call your mom, Will she get an
epidural."
My doctor showed up so fast. Well, this
wasn't my actual doctor, but the on-call doc for my practice, who I
really liked! Thankfully he lived about 2 minutes away. Merry Christmas,
Doc! I remember him walking in and I was basically like, Sorry I
couldn't wait, but I need to get this baby out. He said, go for it. So without an epidural, 3
pushes later and our little man arrived! The doctor called me a
rockstar. I had no time for an epidural and by the time I arrived at the
hospital, I was complete. I had gone through the hardest part without
drugs. So the ending was honestly not as bad. You are so looking forward
to just getting the baby out, that nothing else matters.
I
was apparently a rockstar. All the nurses that I came in contact with
along with any pediatricians or workers that came into my room knew my
story. Of all their deliveries there, they had never seen anyone deliver
as quickly as I did. I was told that it's called precipitous labor. That's something that they don't talk about in your child birth classes! I am thankful that they were so well staffed since
my son chose to come on Christmas morning. We had one nurse that took
so many photos for us, so that my husband could be at my side.
The
Ambien really blurred my thinking though. While I wasn't tired from
taking it, I felt drugged. I thankfully have photos that are timestamped
to look back on to know when something happened (like Baby Awesome's
bath), when our parents came in that day, it was 7:30AM! My son is 100%
healthy. He did suffer a bi-lateral cephalahematoma that took about a
month to reside.
There's a part of me that mourns the
loss of the delivery that I did not have. The photos taken after the
delivery of my husband, son and me were not the most flattering. I
looked like a crazy woman! I had seen some of my friends with the
beautiful photos after the fact. As I mentioned above, I have a hard
time remembering things from the birth. I felt numb and emotionless.
While I'm thankful that my son arrived healthy, I'm having to let go of the way I wanted his birth to go.
